Encouraging Kindness, Compassion and Empathy

Empathy is not a fixed trait, it can be fostered, encouraged and cultivated by empathic siblings, as well as adult caregivers. Therefore, parents often ask how they can encourage young children to be more empathic. To teach kids to be kind, it is critical to start young, when they can most easily absorb fundamental lessons. The key thing to keep in mind is that empathy and kindness starts at home with being respectful and polite to each other in terms of daily interactions and requests. If parents want their children to be respectful to them, the easiest way is to treat them with respect as well. When children see it and are treated with love and kindness, they pass it on to others also. Therefore, model compassion by treating friends, acquaintances and colleagues with kindness. Expending energy on caring, reciprocal relationships teaches children to prioritize friendship and positivity over popularity. Constant maneuvering for position in the social hierarchy can lead to insecurity, envy, anxiety, or competitiveness, all of which promote meanness. Children with sensitive adult role models and gentle friends tend to behave similarly.
Another effective way to encourage empathy is through using stories. Help your child build their compassion, kindness and empathy through play-acting, watching inspiring movies, and reading books, which lets your child get inside characters’ minds. Activities that allow careful reflection on how others are feeling in a given situation help build the skills needed for moral action. The right book or movie can stir a child’s empathy better than any lesson or lecture ever could. When children read books and become invested in characters’ plights, they can imagine themselves in other people’s shoes. Another important step you can take is spending more time outdoors. Dr Keltner, a psychology professor at the University of California at Berkeley, notes that going out into nature and experiencing “feelings of awe” appears to heighten empathy amongst children and adults, so you should explore the nature outdoors with your child as often as possible. In addition, encouraging your child to engage in outdoor sports could have a great impact as researchers at the University of Michigan who studied middle school children found that those who were more physically active and involved in team sports scored highest in leadership skills and empathy.

Low levels of empathy in children are associated with bullying, cheating, weak moral reasoning, and mental health issues, like anxiety and depression. At the same time, research shows that when children learn to be empathic early in their development, it can lead to much stronger empathy skills later in life as they become adults who treat others with kindness, respect and understanding. Signs of empathic concern in children have been documented as young as 8 to 10 months of age. Researchers studying the biological origin of empathy and compassion (developmental neuroscientists) have found that infants are born with the ability to imitate. Visible manifestations of empathy can be seen when newborns copy their parents’ facial expressions, or when babies shake the rattle just like their siblings. That kind of imitation lays the foundation for empathy, scientists say. Demonstrations of more obvious forms of empathy, such as showing concern when someone is crying, can be seen in toddlers. Empathic children can become empathic parents, spouses, co-workers and friends, and therefore have happier relationships and easier social interactions.
Empathy is not a fixed trait, it can be fostered, encouraged and cultivated by empathic siblings, as well as adult caregivers. Therefore, parents often ask how they can encourage young children to be more empathic. To teach kids to be kind, it is critical to start young, when they can most easily absorb fundamental lessons. The key thing to keep in mind is that empathy and kindness starts at home with being respectful and polite to each other in terms of daily interactions and requests. If parents want their children to be respectful to them, the easiest way is to treat them with respect as well. When children see it and are treated with love and kindness, they pass it on to others also. Therefore, model compassion by treating friends, acquaintances and colleagues with kindness. Expending energy on caring, reciprocal relationships teaches children to prioritize friendship and positivity over popularity. Constant maneuvering for position in the social hierarchy can lead to insecurity, envy, anxiety, or competitiveness, all of which promote meanness. Children with sensitive adult role models and gentle friends tend to behave similarly.

Another effective way to encourage empathy is through using stories. Help your child build their compassion, kindness and empathy through play-acting, watching inspiring movies, and reading books, which lets your child get inside characters’ minds. Activities that allow careful reflection on how others are feeling in a given situation help build the skills needed for moral action. The right book or movie can stir a child’s empathy better than any lesson or lecture ever could. When children read books and become invested in characters’ plights, they can imagine themselves in other people’s shoes. Another important step you can take is pending more time outdoors. Dr Keltner, a psychology professor at the University of California at Berkeley, notes that going out into nature and experiencing “feelings of awe” appears to heighten empathy amongst children and adults, so you should explore the nature outdoors with your child as often as possible. In addition, encouraging your child to engage in outdoor sports could have a great impact as researchers at the University of Michigan who studied middle school children found that those who were more physically active and involved in team sports scored highest in leadership skills and empathy.
Furthermore, meaningful volunteer engagement can widen children’s worldview, teach them gratitude and build their awareness of and sensitivity to others’ struggles. Placing children in unfamiliar settings or uncomfortable situations heightens their ability to empathize with anyone who feels like an outsider or lacks a sense of belonging. Dr. Schonert-Reichl, an internationally recognized developmental psychologist, found in a randomized control study of high school students that teenagers who volunteered for 1 hour a week over a 10 week period showed higher levels of empathy. Some options for doing that might be through family service projects such as volunteering in the community or local organizations. Also, children need to be taught that helping others can be accomplished through donating their time as well as resources such as food as well as money. For some families, it might be important to teach kids from a young age to set some money aside in a piggy bank that they would like to donate to a specific cause or organization that is important to them.
Furthermore, Richard Weissbourd, American child and family psychologist and a senior lecturer at Harvard Graduate School of Education, recommends that parents should create opportunities for their children to practice caring and gratitude. Learning gratitude involves regularly practicing it, and children need to practice caring for others and expressing gratitude for those who care for them and contribute to others’ lives. Another thing to remember is that everyone makes mistakes, and your child’s occasional unkindness can be used by you as an opportunity to teach your child compassion. Encourage your child to do their best to behave kindly and ethically, but also teach them to recognize when their efforts fall short. Explain that there is tremendous power in an apology, even when the harm caused was unintentional. However, the most effective technique for teaching your child kindness, empathy and compassion is to role model the desired behaviours yourself and lead by example, because for children, you are the example to be imitated as they trust and admire you. As a popular proverb goes, the apple doesn’t fall far from the apple tree.